Sister Smith

I'd like to introduce you to Shirley Andelin Smith, well to me it was always Sister Smith. Sister Smith passed away last week at the age of 86. Sister Smith is the mother of a family I was close to in my youth. In the mid 60's the Smith family moved into my family's ward in Long Beach. Sister Smith's husband was a physician. He was our hometeacher for awhile. He was unassuming, funny and he was really kind. I remember how much Sister Smith loved telling stories about Dr. Smith, particularly when they were first married. I could tell she really loved him.
Dr. Smith worked in a clinic, and I remember that he was well known for
being generous treating patients that couldn't afford treatment. When I posted Sister Smith's obituary on Facebook, many recalled being treated at Dr. Smith's home in the evenings and on Saturdays. One night at 10:30 he stitched me up at their home after a basketball game.
There were 7 kids in the family. The older 4 I didn't know as well. That left Mary, and her brothers Thayne and Toni. Mary was a year older than I was and went to a different high school. There was something about Mary, haha, and we became friends. She was an accomplished student and her testimony was very strong. Even at such a young age she was as the Apostle Paul described 'grounded, rooted, and settled' in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I was probably 16 at the time. We would just hangout, sometimes doing silly dumb things, like see how many pieces of double bubble gum we could chew at once while driving around in my Volkswagen. If she was going to be at church for any reason, I would make sure I was there as well. I remember attending BYU Education Week classes with Mary at our ward building. For several days once a summer, BYU faculty would teach classes on various gospel subjects. I recall sitting on the front row with Mary listening to Truman Madsen.
Mary and her family were a positive influence in my life at a critical time. My friends were mostly basketball players at school and a lot of my church friends were pushing past some of the boundaries of obedience. I remember telling Mary that I was rushing a fraternity at my high school. She said, ' Well that's a dumb thing to do.' I realized she was right and as soon as I was accepted, I quit.
One day I'm at their house and I think it was Toni that suggested I go on their family vacation to West Yellowstone. West Yellowstone is near Idaho Falls, which is where the Smith's were from. So I went along.
It couldn't have been more than a few days when Thayne asked me if I would like to go fishing with he and his Dad on the nearby Madison River. I decided that I would rather go with Mary and her cousins to the lake so I didn't go fishing.
At the end of the day Mary and I, and some of her cousins decided to go into West Yellowstone. Mary was driving and I was in the other front seat. As we were driving along a dirt road, we saw an unknown truck approaching us from the opposite direction, it started to slow down and then stop. Thayne rushed out, waving his arms, exclaiming that their father Dr. Smith, had slipped and somehow his fishing waders had filled with water and the strong current pulled him under and downriver, all while poor Thayne at a distance could only watch. This wonderful man, the father of this very special family was gone.
I won't try to describe the scene. It was horrible. I was asked to take over for Mary and drive the truck back to the house. I made a U turn, but I miscalculated and ran the truck into the ditch running along the road breaking the front axle. I'm sure I was in shock, but I had made the situation worse. It was so heartbreaking to see each family member react to the fact that Dr. Smith had drowned.
I had never witnessed the unexpected loss of a loved one and wouldn't again until I would lose Marianne.
My parents wanted to attend the funeral so I stayed with the Smith's while they made those preparations. The funeral was an outpouring of love and affection for Dr. Smith and his family. Afterwards, Mary accompanied us to the airport. As we said goodbye I could sense her pain and heartbreak.
For a long time I felt that I had let Mary and her Mom down by not going fishing that day with Dr. Smith. I think Thayne had mentioned that things might have turned out different if I had been there. But I have since learned that with His faithful, Heavenly Father is in control.
Things were different after that. The Smith's moved away. When I went to BYU my freshman year I would see them from time to time. I took a class with Mary and I would see Sister Smith in the BYU bookstore. I remember thinking then that Sister Smith would never remarry.
When I went on my mission they were kind enough to come to the Salt Lake airport to see me off. I got a couple of letters from Mary and soon she announced that she was engaged to be married.
Mary had taught me what a wonderful thing it was to associate with a virtuous young woman. I think Heavenly Father and even ministering angels lead and guide us into situations that help prepare us. I would not have known how to get close to your Mom without my friendship with Mary.
When I came home from my mission after a couple of summer months I went back to BYU and I went to visit Sister Smith and Mary. I remember Mary and I went for a walk and she asked me if I was planning on dating a mutual friend. I told her that we had done a few things over the summer and that she was coming up to visit. Somehow Mary knew to give me some good advice. When she arrived I went to pick her up at her friends apartment and sitting at the kitchen table was Marianne Sant, who was also visiting. I didn't notice her since she was wearing curlers and a robe, but she later told me that she told her friends at that table 'why can't I date a guy like that.'
I would get another chance with your Mom a month or so later at a Thanksgiving dance in Long Beach where I would ask her to dance the last dance. The rest of that story I think you know.
Back to the present. Last week I noticed that Thayne had made a posting on Facebook that his mother had passed away. I searched online and found her obituary. It was great to see her face. My first thought was that she and Dr. Smith were together again. Since then I have been contemplating my own experiences with the Smiths all those years ago, and since then the Smith family has grown by 55 grandchildren and 135 great grandchildren. Mary and her husband Charlie have 12 children of their own, how many grand children I can only guess.
As soon as I found out, I called my parents and Kevin. My parents attended the viewing and were able to visit with many of Sister Smith's family. Kevin attended the funeral. My Dad was their Bishop for a good part of the time they were in Long Beach. I think both my parents and the Smith's really enjoyed being together. My parents told me afterwards how much Mary reminded them of Marianne, which caused me to smile. I wasn't able to attend, but my parents sent me some pictures which I saw this morning. It was good to see their faces again.

Can't wait till were all together again next week.

Love

DAD

Some thoughts

Some of these thoughts I have shared with you before. I was reading again one of your Mom's and my favorite authors, Elder Neil Maxwell.
A mortal life may need to be 'shortened' by twenty years as we might view it, but if so, it may be done for certain services to be rendered by that individual in the spirit world, services that will benefit thousands of new neighbors with whom that individual will live in all of eternity... Our omniloving and omniscient Heavenly Father will release us when it is time to be released. But each such release of a righteous person is also a call to new labors!
Often, I have glimpses of your Mom. First, she is happy and fulfilled. She loved to be anxiously engaged in something important. She had exceptional leadership and organizational skills. But I do remember every time she received an important call in the church, she would always express to me her concern whether or not she had the ability to perform it well. Of course, she always amazed everyone with her abilities and desire to serve Heavenly Father. Again, let me say I am certain that she is involved in something challenging and fulfilling and is very happy.
Marianne's favorite pasttime was research. You probably wouldn't know this, since she had to put this aside for her family. Her favorite place at BYU was the library. I loved our time sitting next to each other in that reverent quiet place studying. I have the feeling that her current responsibilities involve research in the most beautiful library we could possibly imagine.
Marianne prefers family over everything. A testament to this is that she often fretted over the fact that she was never able to finish her Phd at BYU, since we chose not to delay having children. She even asked Uncle Merlin once to give her a blessing so that she might have peace over this great disappointment. In the blessing Merlin told her that it would not matter. You see, your Mom wanted to use her talents and be involved in something really important after her children were raised. We never really guessed that opportunity would come on the other side of the veil.
I have glimpses of Marianne surrounded by her family. I am happy she is with her Mom and Dad, and her Uncles and Aunts. I have thoughts of her getting along well with my Grandma Kimball and her faithful mother Birthe Marie Hansen, who as a young girl in Denmark was disowned by her family for joining the Church and moved to Copenhagen on her own to work as a dressmaker for several years to earn her passage to Zion.
Regarding family in the spirit world, Jedediah M. Grant once shared a vision to Heber C. Kimball, his fellow counselor to the prophet Brigham Young and our great great great grandfather.
He said to me, brother Heber, I have been into the spirit world two nights in succession, and, of all the dreads that ever came across me, the worst was to have to again return to my body, though I had to do it. But O, says he, the order and government that were there! When in the spirit world, I saw the order of righteous men and women; beheld them organized in their several grades, and there appeared to be no obstruction to my vision; I could see every man and woman in their grade and order. I looked to see whether there was any disorder there, but there was none; neither could I see any death nor any darkness, disorder or confusion. He said that the people he there saw were organized in family capacities; and when he looked at them he saw grade after grade, and all were organized and in perfect harmony. He would mention one item after another and say, “Why, it is just as brother Brigham says it is; it is just as he has told us many a time.”(Heber C. Kimball, in Journal of Discourses, 4:135–36)
I think that the one glimpse I have of Marianne over everything else is her love and concern for you and I.
In a funeral sermon, Joseph Smith declared that the spirits of righteous people who have died “are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 326). Other latter-day prophets have made similar statements. President Ezra Taft Benson said: “Sometimes the veil between this life and the life beyond becomes very thin. Our loved ones who have passed on are not far from us” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1971, p. 18; or Ensign, June 1971, p. 33). President Brigham Young said: “Where is the spirit world? It is right here” (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 376).
When Parley P. Pratt learned from the prophet Joseph of the doctrine of eternal marriage he soon realized that the wife of his youth who had passed away years before was now “...a kind ministering angel given to me as a comfort and a crown of glory forever and ever...”.
Whenever I pray I ask Heavenly Father to allow Marianne to be a part of each of our lives. I suggest that this is something you also ask your Heavenly Father.
We do not consciously realize the extent to which ministering angels affect our lives. President Joseph F. Smith said, “In like manner our fathers and mothers, brothers, sisters and friends who have passed away from this earth, having been faithful, and worthy to enjoy these rights and privileges, may have a mission given them to visit their relatives and friends upon the earth again, bringing from the divine Presence messages of love, of warning, or reproof and instruction, to those whom they had learned to love in the flesh.” President James E. Faust
I know that Marianne is aware and even involved in each of your lives. I see her in each of you, and each of her grandchildren. As I am sitting here watching conference, Annie has been taking notes of each conference speaker. Which of course is 'totally Marianne.'
Less than two weeks before Marianne passed away, she made a comment to me that I thought came out of nowhere and have never mentioned to any of you. 'You know Cole, you could have learned more from me than you have.' I didn't really know what to say. But I knew what she meant.
With complete confidence I know that Marianne was called to a more important calling on the other side of the veil. I want to reaffirm to each of you that this is according to Heavenly Father's plan. I suggest that you learn to live as close to the Spirit as you can. As you do this, and continue to sanctify yourselves through the Sacrament every week, the aaronic priesthood keys of the ministering of angels will bless you with the love and influence of that one ministering angel that you miss so much and know would do anything to help and protect you and your family.
Like the Linford's good friend and Apostle, Elder Scott, who lost his own wife 16 years ago, I am grateful for the extraordinary motivation I have to live the Gospel so that I might be reunited with Marianne and my Heavenly Father. Even though I miss Marianne every hour of the day, I am thrilled for her and her current circumstances. I know that we will all be blessed as an eternal family as we strive to learn from our life with her and even her continuing presence through the Spirit of the Lord.
On our night stand I have displayed one of Marianne's notes.

No talk about success can stand without a testimony of the power of the Gospel and the joy that comes from obeying commandments and living the Gospel.
Joy Nephi felt from partaking of the fruit of the tree of life.

DC 76:51-70

These things are yours. This is your your promise as the Spirit Children of our Heavenly Father. All that he requires is our humble, faithful, honest attempt to live the Gospel every day, in response to the challenge that each day brings.

I love Marianne and all of you so much. May we always count our blessings and always be together.

Dad